letting go without Letting go

letting-go3.jpg

So its that time of the year again, I’ll be here and I’ll watch my friends (senior colleagues actually) graduate from school. People with whom time trusted bonds have been formed, people I call family, earlier today I was telling someone dear to me that it’s a shame I don’t know how to cry because this would have been a very teary moment. I’m in my sixth year in the University (That’s if Pre-degree counts though) So I think I’ve done this for five years successfully, and I can say I’ve mastered the art of letting go without Letting go. I’ll be sharing my thoughts, tips, opinions about this.

I’ve understood that Parting is inevitable: Men are in sizes and life is in phases. There is a limit to the size you can attain in each phase of life. Parting especially when it’s taking a step upwards like the scenario we’re looking at is inevitable because it’s assumed (and most times rightly) that you’ve learnt all (or most of) what you could have learnt in this phase and need to move to another and just like you will get to outgrow this phase at some point. Just like Jesus said to the disciples in the build-up to his trip to Calvary making them understand that, their emotions notwithstanding, it’s expedient and in their best interest that he goes.

Understand that you’re no longer in the same phase: I hear people say,” You’ve forgotten me” or as some of my friends would say “Out of sight is now out of mind abi?” But I’ve come to realize that even with bosom friends when one moves to another phase it takes a lot to still fit into another’s life the way you used to. Truth be told what keeps friendships are shared visions, goals, interests, Hobbies, Ideologies, etc. so when goals change, like in this case the goal for the ‘leaver’ is no longer acquiring an education in some discipline of study but the goal of the ‘levee’ is still the same so we realize that the very foundations of our friendships are tested, and if it doesn’t shift and rest on something else we just throw such friendships away, or worse allow it die a natural death. Be understanding with them and find out how you fit into the new picture and how the person they have become fits into yours

Maximize every moment: Relating with friends who’ve graduated and are up to something with their lives has made me place a premium on time, you don’t see them around often like you used to. Even if for any reason they are still in or around the campus you don’t bump into them like you used to before so we’ve got to maximize the moments. For a few really dear to my heart 15-20 minute long calls weekly (or at most bi-weekly) would do for us to catch up on all we’ve missed, update ourselves on goals and visions were running with, new interests, new friends, challenges and all. So while we’re apart we’re not ‘Apart’.

Find a way to remind them that you still have them at heart: It might be sending an SMS, leaving a message in their inbox, for those in the ’Smartphone age’ sending old pictures of you guys, making a big deal out of their birthdays, etc. We all don’t react nicely to being forgotten, So if you know that friendship means something to you it’s worth the effort.

Finally, Parting is not easy but its inevitable. Depending on how it’s handled it can foster or break the dearest of friendships. Someone said ‘Parting is such sweet-sorrow’ but I say we can make it more ‘sweet’ than ‘sorrow’. I’ll love to get feedback from you on dealing with Parting, So hit the comment button

letting go3

37 comments

  1. This is so true! I always have issues parting with close friends because I feel like our friendship would be over but I have learned instead to find out how i can fit into their new lives. Parting doesn’t always feel great but in a lot of cases it creates the strongest bonds. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Now,u re gonna make me cry buh I wont. I feel at some point keeping up with relationships its not easy cos its anoda phase and new pple will be found plus some pple will really get busy wif work and relationships but wat makes it beautiful is catching up on old times and picking off from where u left weneva deres an encounter or a reunion,I don’t feel we should complain too much about letting go or parting

    Liked by 1 person

  3. i almost broke down in tears while reading this because however we might want to try to keep up, the first few weeks, months might be quite the rush of sugar, but after a while it just wears out, you sometimes feel terrible for not being able to keep in touch, as life always has a way of getting the best of us. i believe your tips really go a long way, but then it sometimes is sweet-bitter-sorrow…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The inevitability of losing friends dear to you is something have learnt to live with!!!
    Letting go , without letting go is a difficult task.
    Great piece man

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s